John Peter Sloan

Dear John,
I’m one of your enthusiastic young readers (16 years old), but I’m also facing some very big problems. My family is very strict and old-fashioned. They’re only interested in culture and my marks at school (you can imagine the pressure I’m under) and consider the rest garbage. I’m always nervous and I’m always hiding what I do. My life has changed since I became friends with a girl who has shown me the real world, but my mother can’t stand her! And I’ve also found a boyfriend, but I haven’t told my mother. In fact she thinks I’m going out with a girl!
Valeria

I find that in all relationships (romantic, family, work etc.) communication is the essential ingredient. We always seem to think we know people and what their reactions would be to certain things, but, if you actually talked to people, you would be surprised. Even people you think you know really well, like your mother or father. If I were you, I would sit down with your parents and say, “Listen, I really don’t want to lie to you and I know you don’t want that either, right?” (they will agree.) “So I am going to be sincere with you and I want you to appreciate that, whether you like what I say or not. Please don’t close this door I am opening to you because, if you do, I won’t be able to guarantee sincerity with you in the future.” (they will agree to that, I hope!) “OK, I really need my space. I know my studies are important to you, but I’d also like a little space to do other things I like.”
Remember, though, that you are only 16, so don’t exaggerate. Take one step at a time.

Dear John,
I’m single woman of 40, and I haven’t had a boyfriend in 10 years. But I don’t know anyone who interests me. I would rather meet someone free or unmarried, but it’s difficult!
Patty  

All I can suggest is: GET OUT THERE! But don’t actively look for anybody. It’s when you don’t look for the right man that you find him.

Dear John,
I’ve been saving money for three years to buy a special speed bike, but now my girlfriend wants to get married. I don’t know whether to buy the bike or get married. What do you think?
Paulo

I had a similar dilemma once. I couldn’t sleep for days, I just couldn’t decide. In the end I chose the one with the large tires and the least gears.